I don’t understand people sometimes.
I don’t understand the people who say ‘Long distance relationships can work’ and then go on to cite their own on-going ldrs as examples. I don’t mean to put these people down because they must be doing something right if their still keeping long distance fires alive. God knows that I’ve tried that route and believe me when I say, being in a long distance relationship is somewhat like starving slowly to death. Or being a vegetarian. Or a vampire who only drinks animal blood.
It’s a half-life, one that never fully satisfies you because you never get enough of what you crave — which is time with the beloved. Unmeasured time during which there is no need to count how many precious minutes there are left. Time without the shade of an imminent goodbye, time which doesn’t need to be precious, that can be squandered and spent carelessly because you know you have all that you need of it.
So it’s not that I’m putting these people down. I know how hard it is and I commend the endurance and faith needed to keep on loving someone who simply isn’t there.
But arguing that ldrs can work simply on the basis that you are in an on-going one is a premature conclusion. It is, furthermore, a premature conclusion on a matter that is highly subjective. It’s tantamount to me buying a stick of grilled lamb testicles from a street-side vendor and declaring confidently that no one is going to get sick from eating street food. First of all, I don’t know yet if I’m going to get sick from it — I am still enjoying the gastronomical delights offered by grilled lamb testicles, unaware of any possible, impending toilet-related agony. Secondly, getting sick from street food is subject to various factors that differ from person to person such as toughness of digestive tract and prior exposure (local beijingers seem to be able to eat anything off the street-vendors with impunity).
The truth is, this sort of argument is weak at best and at worst, utterly vacuous. A complete cynic would say that a belief in ldrs is nothing more than a happy delusion. Fortunately, I am not yet a complete cynic. I believe that some relationships work and some don’t but like most things in life, they are half-chance. The most we can do is fight for control over the other half, to do whatever you can within the sphere of your power as far as you believe it is worth it.
But don’t argue that long distance works because you’re still in one. Chances are, a couple of failed ldrs down the road, you’ll be singing a wholly different tune.
But grilled lamb testicles are actually pretty tasty.
