avoid bright lights

There is a tiny window of blogging opportunity where my proxy server seems to be functioning but I’m afraid it will close any moment.
So, this blog is pretty much dead, thanks to the great fucking firewall of china. I can access it once in a blue moon but I’m trying to decide whether to keep [...]

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i know the cost of a losing hand

I used to love you.
You shaped the way I think, the way I dreamed, the way I learned how to be as a person. I have the sweetest memories of you and me, as well as the most painful. From the safety of hindsight, I can now see all your faults in sharp relief but [...]

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this post is called ‘a canadianboy in kl’

He talks about finance a lot and he’s mildly obsessed with environmental policy. He gets rowdy when he’s drunk and then passes out on the floor. He sleeps spread-eagled, hand on heart and all over the bed so that I get no space. This thing between us, I don’t know what it’s future will be [...]

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twenty different kinds of cheese

It’s difficult to explain. As I stroll down the aisles of the cold storage in bsc, I marvel at how many different kinds of cheese there are underneath the hard glass shell of the refrigerator. It makes me want to cry, this abundance of cheese.
I realise that supermarket cheese has taken on a ridiculous poignancy. [...]

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爱上你是我情非得已

It wasn’t that he was a particularly enigmatic or compelling person. He was intelligent and interesting and spoke exceedingly well.  But enigmatic? Compelling? No, not really.
His fascination lay in something deeply subjective to me, namely that he was the complete antithesis of everything and everyone I was used to. I was raised by parents who [...]

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beijing huan ying ni part 2

Fucking china fucking blocked fucking facebook.
fuck fuck fuck.
Damn country. I go out for dinner and come back and within an hour facebook is just gone!
So scared that your citizens will revolt then just ban the whole damn internet la!
fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck.

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it showed me the place where the sidewalk cracks

Something about the end of semester flurry made me realise it.
I may not have as strong a base here in beijing as I perhaps would have liked, and maybe that’s my fault — ever aware of the possibility of loss I pushed everything and everyone away who did not make it a point to [...]

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don’t lose any sleep tonight, i’m sure everything will end up alright

I have an exam in eight and a half hours that I haven’t prepared for and somehow, tonight, something doesn’t feel right.
When did my own thoughts become such bad company?
Is this why it’s so hard for me to be happy?
Tonight I don’t feel like framing my feelings into words. It all feels like such an [...]

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in which i compare being in an ldr with being a vegetarian

I don’t understand people sometimes.
I don’t understand the people who say ‘Long distance relationships can work’ and then go on to cite their own on-going ldrs as examples. I don’t mean to put these people down because they must be doing something right if their still keeping long distance fires alive. God knows that [...]

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some dance to remember, some dance to forget

There are nights when waiyou delivery and cheap dvds are enough, more than enough. When french fries eaten hungrily on an orange beach towel is comfort beyond reckoning and no words need to be said. Nights in the dark, talking, just talking.
But there are the nights when you need something else. Sometimes you need [...]

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