I used to love you.
You shaped the way I think, the way I dreamed, the way I learned how to be as a person. I have the sweetest memories of you and me, as well as the most painful. From the safety of hindsight, I can now see all your faults in sharp relief but [...]
Archive for the ‘scary and damaged’ Category
smile like you mean it
Posted in scary and damaged on July 30, 2009 | 2 Comments »
It’s so easy to smile, you just stretch a few muscles. It’s so much harder to mean it. So much harder to laugh and smile and joke when your heart is aching.
The loneliest feeling in the world is not being able to share how you feel with someone you love. The scariest feeling in the [...]
i think you need to stop following misery’s lead
Posted in cheer up emo kid!, half-way happy posts, scary and damaged on April 13, 2009 | 4 Comments »
“So who broke your heart?,” he asked.
“What?”
“He sure did a number on you.”
I was left speechless for a while. How do you tell a stranger the story of your scars when you don’t fully understand them yourself?
The thing is, after all this time, it’s no longer about him. I am reluctant to talk about it [...]
what did you gain?
Posted in scary and damaged on December 3, 2008 | 5 Comments »
Pain. You can’t outrun it. And life always makes more.
— meredith grey
What I have learned is that loss never really goes away. It fades into the background because real life takes precedence. Paying bills, breakfasts with friends, packing clothes, throwing away old things, if we could sum life up in just three words, they would [...]
alecto
Posted in scary and damaged on October 27, 2008 | 11 Comments »
I am angry. Deeply angry.
There is no reason behind my anger, no rhyme that it beats to, no target for its destructive power. The only thing I know for sure is that this anger gives me the ability to survive.
It quickens my heartbeat as I pound the treadmill, burns my throat with every shot of [...]
this post came out darker than i intended it to
Posted in other people's words, scary and damaged on October 16, 2008 | 5 Comments »
Do you know why I never write letters that are not meant to be sent? It’s because the act has always seemed a little insane to me. I know it’s supposed to be cathartic and healing but the truth is, when I write ‘Dear Person’ at the top of the page, its difficult to pour [...]
drink up, baby down, are you in or are you out?
Posted in scary and damaged on October 2, 2008 | 9 Comments »
I do not believe that people are intentionally deceitful. Some of them, yes, some of the time, definitely. But like someone once wrote to me, we are not assholes because we mean to be, we are assholes because we make mistakes. We misjudge and mishandle our emotions and as a result people get hurt, all [...]
disaster is not beautiful
Posted in cheer up emo kid!, scary and damaged on July 22, 2008 | 3 Comments »
i need your grace to remind me to find my own
Posted in cheer up emo kid!, scary and damaged on May 30, 2008 | 1 Comment »
He had a tattered Star Trek paperback in a green Safeway bag — the eco-friendly kind you get at the checkout for one dollar fifty. He was sucking on a coke from Maccas and I thought of all the times I threw away my own combo soft drink, the way we think of Maccas as [...]
