It wasn’t that he was a particularly enigmatic or compelling person. He was intelligent and interesting and spoke exceedingly well. But enigmatic? Compelling? No, not really.
His fascination lay in something deeply subjective to me, namely that he was the complete antithesis of everything and everyone I was used to. I was raised by parents who [...]
Archive for the ‘the future freaks me out’ Category
heed the lighthouse
Posted in cheer up emo kid!, the future freaks me out on July 27, 2009 | 1 Comment »
In the space between dreams and reality my mind throws up memories I forgot I ever had. My sleep addled mind unearths them one by one, like so many pieces of sharp glass to step on. They come out of nowhere, forgotten but familiar, quietly menacing.
They are like warnings, these memories. A warning from me [...]
what the walls told me last night
Posted in musings, the future freaks me out on June 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
They say that being a grown-up means being accountable to people other than yourself. They say that it’s about responsibility and being sensible. That’s why children are allowed to make more mistakes than we are — they don’t know any better.
We do. Maybe not much better, but still better.
And so at a certain point, [...]
this post sucks so much i wanted to delete it except that then i would have to write it and hate it all over again.
Posted in the future freaks me out on May 12, 2009 | 6 Comments »
There is no drama in my life.
No backstabbing friends, no scandalous gossip, no cause for teary outbursts whatsoever.
Plus, I’ve pretty much gotten over the whole slit-my-wrists-and-bury-me-tomorrow phase.
I spend my days in chinese class and my nights watching movies in my room with the-guy-who-gets-upset-because-i-refuse-to-acknowledge-that-its-a-relationship.
The take-out man recognises my phone number and rings [...]
ten days of perfect tunes, the colours red and blue
Posted in cheer up emo kid!, the future freaks me out on February 13, 2009 | 2 Comments »
For some reason, it can’t quite sink in that I am leaving (again!) in about two days.
Where did summer go? It disappeared in a flurry of flavoured smoke and whiskey, conversation and silences, late nights and hot days. As usual, it seems like such a long time has passed, from that [...]
calendar girl who’s in love with the world, stay alive…
Posted in the future freaks me out, wtf posts on February 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Me (while surrounded by a blizzard of government forms and official guidelines): How the hell did your friend manage to decipher all this goddamn red tape?
Sister: Oh, he paid someone to do it.
My first thought: you can pay someone to do all this for you??? My second thought: Hallelujah, you can pay someone to do [...]
tonight’s the night the world begins again
Posted in half-way happy posts, the future freaks me out on January 4, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Here’s what I want from the new year.
I want to be happy. Not a happiness borne out of having everything in your life be perfect but a happiness that is hard-won and all my own. I want to be happy despite everything not being perfect, despite the painful bits, the unanswered questions, the neverending heartache. [...]
i’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
Posted in cheer up emo kid!, other people's words, the future freaks me out on December 30, 2008 | 3 Comments »
We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I’m standing there
On a balcony of summer air
On nights like these, when my hand is this close to reaching out, I think of all the things that have stayed it. A woman once wrote that the best advice she had ever [...]
and all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity
Posted in musings, the future freaks me out on December 28, 2008 | 2 Comments »
This morning I woke up after six hours of sleep. I had a splitting headache and my liver was protesting its recent abuse. Grumpy at being so rudely awoken, I sat up in bed and wondered what it was that had bugged me so much that it woke me up. It took a few minutes [...]
